Taurus

So last night  I’m at a Halloween party and I run into my least favorite kinda girl in Los Angeles. The girl who thinks she knows everything about astrology. I am not one to believe that the day you are born really has some merit or can dictate what kind of person you’re gonna be for the rest of your life. She was a friend of a friend and I was told she was recently single. I know why that is. Not a shocker.

I said something remotely funny about something irrelevant and she was within earshot to turn and give a fake giggle. “Oh my god, that’s soooooooo funny.’ she blurted out and followed with “what’s your sign?”

I attempted to just tell her “I’m a” then I was rudely interrupted with “wait, let me guess”

Here we F IN go.

“You’re a scorpio.” I shake my head no. “Leo?” no. “Aries?” no. “Well you’re not a Capricorn, right?? no. “Not a Libra, not a Libra?” no. “Virgo?” no. “No way you are a Cancer. no way.” no. “Sagittarius?” no.

After this 5 minute debacle I disrupt her idiotic rant. “I’m a Taurus!”

‘Oh my god, you’re suuuuuuuuuuch a Taurus!” She said with a confident smile. “But we’re not gonna get along cause you’re a Taurus!”

I replied with my sarcastic response “We’re not gonna get along, cause you’re an idiot”

She was not a fan of this and she attempted to throw her drink in my face. I was to quick, she totally missed and soaked the expensive drapes that were behind me.

She then stormed off and her ugly BFF followed her.

I said “Wait, where you going?” then turned to my buddy. ‘ F IN Geminis”