Comedy News

Comedy News

Contributor: Mike Casentini

Category: Comedy News

Description: Our Heavy Hitters News Beats focus on todays stories that everyone will be talking about tonight and tomorrow. The Heavy Hitters News is the comedy resource for today's inspiration for tonight's material. Our News Stories are sure to be on the tips of comedians’ tongues across the country. Be the first to find out what audiences will be laughing at tonight.

Mike

Mark McGwire Admits To Using Steroids. No Duh!

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Mark McGwire

Mark McGwire

Today, Mark McGwire admitted to the Associated Press that he had in fact taken steroids for a 10 year period and during that time he broke Roger Maris’s homerun record. It is believed that he came clean due to a new job with the St. Louis Cardinals. He recently became the hitting coach and felt obligated to set the record straight. It has been something he said he had been hiding behind for years. He admits to hating playing baseball during the “Steroid Era,” but also stated, that the Major League Baseball Organization has done a great job of eliminating the problem.

Wow, I’m truly amazed. Good for you Mr. McGwire. Even though you will receive a lot of criticism, I think it is always healthier for the sole to relieve yourself of the lies that you carry. That baggage is just no good. I knew you would come clean. It was only a matter of time. Especially, if you wanted any chance of getting into the Hall of Fame, you had to come clean. I mean, if you just compare the photos of the pre-steroid Mark McGwire verses the post-steroid Marc McGwire, it was like night and day. One minute he’s soooo small, and then boom, he’s the Hulk!

I did like watching all those homeruns though. That baseball bat looked like a toothpick. Whap! Homerun!

What if we allowed selected players to get all ripped by the steroids and then change the name from “Designated Hitter” to the “BEAST?” I’m just sayin’, it might improve the game a bit.

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