Cleveland

My, oh my, that didn’t take long. If only every spin-off could surpass its parent show so quickly.

Attention viewing audience, I have come not to bury The Cleveland Show, but to praise it. I know it took most of the world half a decade to appreciate the genius of Family Guy, but what do you expect when a population is force fed a steady diet of mediocrity (shows like Gary Unwatchable, The Unwatchable Adventures of Old Christine, and My Unwatchable Name is Earl)? Excellence became a foreign taste which took some time to reacquire.

However, now that our palates have been corrected by season after season of Seth MacFarlane’s starter cuisine, I think we should all be ready to enjoy The Cleveland Show without the need for a warming up period.

If you haven’t seen The Cleveland Show, I almost envy you. You still have the pleasure of its discovery in front of you. Waste not a minute, my friends. Stop reading this column right now and make sure your flash player is in good working order. Hulu.com was invented so you could watch this show.

If you like shows with heart, truth, and wit, then The Cleveland Show is the show for you! If you like those other shows listed above in the parentheses… well, what can I say? You’re probably not even reading this column because it is located on a website, not in a coloring book.

As for why I think The Cleveland Show is better than Family Guy, let me just admit that it’s probably because I’m a little soft. For me, The Cleveland Show has all of the biting wit of Family Guy but with softer edges and more likable and sympathetic characters. I root for every character on The Cleveland Show – and that’s a remarkable achievement.

Don’t get me wrong, I think both shows are excellent, but I’ve always preferred The Godfather: Part II to the original The Godfather – and they both won best picture. You just can’t go wrong with a Godfather (unless you liked The Godfather: Part III, then you’re troubled, you’re just, flat out, troubled).

THE LATE NIGHT WARS

Okay, so I’m acting in this space as your Heavy Hitters TV columnist, but like all of the other columnists on this site, I am also an aspiring comedian. Right now, I want to switch hats and become Eric Somers, comedian.

Here’s the dealio:

I had a moment at an open mic last week that was so comical to me, I feel compelled to share it with you now. Ironically, this moment involved a discussion about the current NBC late night fiasco, and could easily be addressed by Eric Somers, TV columnist. But this moment didn’t occur to Eric Somers, TV columnist, it occurred to Eric Somers, comedian… so that’s who’s writing. Got it? Good.

Okay, so I was standing on the balcony of The Pig ‘n’ Whistle open mic with fellow comic/Heavy Hitters columnist Jason Lacour and another comic (who shall remain nameless because I don’t remember his name). We were all just hanging around, shooting the bull, waiting for our spots (it should be noted that this other comic was much younger than Jason or me).

Anywho, somebody brought up the topic of the current mess at The Tonight Show and Jason and I both expressed the opinion that neither Leno nor Conan was as good as Carson. I suppose some Leno or Conan diehards might find this debatable, but this third comic looked at us like we were nuts. He literally rolled his eyes at us.

Now, I don’t mind a difference of opinion, but this third guy acted like the whole discussion was a no-brainer and that Jason and I were the ones with no brains.

So, in my nicest voice, I said, “What, you didn’t like Johnny Carson?”

And he said, “Who?”

“Johnny Carson,” Jason repeated.

And the guy said, “I’m only 21. I never watched Johnny Carson. I thought you guys were saying Carson Daly was better than Conan or Leno.”

Now it was time for Jason and me to roll our eyes.

“You just said Carson,” repeated the nameless comic, “You never said Johnny.”

So I said, “Buddy, if you really thought we were saying Carson Daly was better than Conan and Leno, I want to thank you for ONLY rolling your eyes. You were entitled to spit on us.”

Have a great week, Heavy Hitters. Have an awesome, awesome week.