Saints Win

First off, I would like to say congratulations to the city of New Orleans, the Saints and the Saints’ fans for their first Super Bowl championship. Coming from Seattle and being a Seahawks fan, I know how it feels to wait and wait and wait for gridiron success. It must feel great…I wouldn’t know.

There, now that I got that out of the way, I have a question. To all these so-called die hard Saints fans I have had the great displeasure of having to listen to this week: Who were the Saints offensive starters in 2005? Better yet, who was the starting quarterback? Surely a die hard fan that goes around rocking a Drew Brees jersey and throwing up the middle finger yelling, “Fuck all you Saints haters!” has got to know the history of this historic team, right? Right? Well I think we all know that, in 2005, most of these Saints fans were Steelers fans. And every time I see one, I wish I had a blow gun. What really kills me is that the loudest ones seem to be the most fair weather. My local sports bar has plenty of them, leading the “who dat” chant and sporting the Reggie Bush jerseys. Last year it was Ocho Cinco.

Of course this is nothing new. Every year in every sport, the band wagon gets full of sheeple who don’t have the fortitude to pick a team and stand by them, even when they lose. I assume it is the same phenomenon that compels people to buy Ed Hardy, Starbucks and iphones. That heard mentality that makes me wish we were an actual heard and lions were there to pick off the weak ones.

I understand that any big game is more interesting if you pick a side and I have no problem with those that do. Shit, I was rooting for the Colts. But don’t call yourself a fan. Don’t say, “We won!” No, THEY won. YOU are just a fair weather dipshit.

And another thing I want to address is this notion that the reason the Saints had such a huge following this year was because of hurricane Katrina. For one thing, that was five years ago. And although I’m sure it added to the story, natural disasters are not a catalyst for national support in the sports world. I don’t remember seeing too many Sedale Threatt Laker jerseys after the Northridge quake in ’94.

The truth is that it was the perfect storm for band wagon jumpers. You had the sympathy factor for a city that is trying to rebuild after a hurricane. You had the fact that they had never won the big game before. You had them playing against a team who’s quarterback is generally regarded as the NFL equivalent of Ivan Drago. They have, arguably, the coolest colors in the league. And most important, you had a chant which gave white people permission to use ebonics. And let’s face it, white people LOVE to use ebonics. So there you go.

If it seems like I am bitter about this whole thing it is because I am. You see, like I said earlier, I am a Seahawks fan and 5 years ago it was our turn to be in the big game. We were playing the mighty Steelers in our first Super Bowl. We all know how the game turned out. A Super Bowl turned into a homecoming for Jerome Bettis in Detroit. I think I counted 5 Hawks jerseys at Ford Field that day. Even the refs had terrible towels and after decades of mediocrity, our big day was squashed by the power of the crowd favorite. So the Saints victory is bitter sweet; bitter towards the spineless, mindless, faithless lambs who jump on band wagons. Sweet for the patient, loyal, faithful fan who still rocks an Aaron Brooks jersey.

Go Seahawks!