Law School

As a comedian, I face a lot of doubt. People hear I’m a comedian and immediately beg me to do my act for them. My family is pretty much convinced I’ve given up on every talent I’ve ever previously displayed in life, from academics to music. So whenever my family asks me about my comedy career, and I’m honest about how much of a struggle it is, they always suggest I go to law school. And this is probably due to my lack of age and experience, but when did law school become the academic answer to the perennial question, “What the hell am I doing with my life?”

If you’re considering going to law school, don’t do it, no matter how much your family pressures you. I used to work at a law firm, and it scammed its customers into purchasing Home Loan Modifications. The scam worked in a way that the firm would take people’s money, and not process any of their paperwork. Enter me, the schmuck looking to make a buck. I was hired under the guise of a high paying salary. Never mind the bleeding I had to stop.

The clients were dicked around so much that one client threatened to bring me, the newly hired customer service agent, to the Federal Trade Commission. I treated the incident positively: I got to learn what the Federal Trade Commission was, and also that the client was full of shit. The last time I was home, I told my family this whole story and all they had to say was, “Well, has this helped you consider going to law school?” Have you been listening to me? I just told you about the absolute worst professional experience of my life, and now, you want me to get a degree in it.”