I’m embarrassed to post things on the Internet. I’ll admit it. Each time I send something in, or make a Facebook update, or log into Twitter, it doesn’t matter how, I always feel a little self-conscious about it. I don’t like feeling obligated to tell everyone what’s going on all the time. I know that’s a little odd for a comic to admit, being that I’m supposed to readily tell you everything that’s in my head, but for me, that’s on stage. I also know that I hardly ever update my column, something that’s an outlet that some very good friends gave me as both a favor and a responsibility, one that I should want to fulfill. It’s easy to say that I’m embarrassed to tell you guys about myself. I could just as easily say that I’m lazy, which is also true. I’ve been playing quite a few shows lately and really haven’t had much time to myself, but really, how long does one of these posts take? You know damn well this is the only draft I wrote and just immediately sent this in with the arrogant fervor of a know it all prick. Maybe that’s it: I really just think I’m too good for this shit, and I compensate for that with an inferiority complex. Yes, I’m embarrassed to put myself out there. I compensate for that with standup. I compensate for everything with standup. It gives me purpose. I really just want to be a good comic, and then let that dictate my place in wherever I am in the universe. Hopefully, nobody there asks me to do my act for them in public when I’m not on stage. I fucking hate that shit. I really do. Why do I have to do it? Am I not good enough to do it, or should the person asking me to stop what I’m doing to perform for them on the spot have the respect to see me in the proper environment? Granted, if you’re a hot woman, I’m probably already using my material in the conversation that we’re having. But for the rest of you, really, and though I can’t speak for other people, I would rather you see me on stage. I think that’s only fair. Anyway, I hope you guys have a great 4th of July. Thanks a lot for reading, and I’ll see you on the circuit.