Brain..brain! I used my brain to compile these observations….

I still haven’t made my mind up about the new lead singer of Sublime. I’m not sure if he’s a nerd or if he’s a tool. Maybe he’s multi-dimensional. All I know is that Brad Nowell, the original singer, died for his lyrics (songwriting was one of the excuses he used to justify his heroin appetite)- as simplistic as they might have been. Now some new guy is regurgitating mushy music vomit into my ears, like a Mama bird with vertigo. Why has originality in entertainment become as prevalent as diversity in Indiana? I’m tired of the industry feeding me what I had for lunch at dinner time.

Dat Phan is more than just a comic. He is a living testament to the fact that the attack on Hiroshima was a catastrophically violent tainting of an entire Nation’s gene pool. A morally irresponsible act, the ramifications of which can be seen in the physical and mental deformities of generations past, present and future. Dat Phan isn’t Japanese, you retort? Well, his mother’s vagina is. He does an impression of it in his act.

The passing of proposition 19 would make California a better place. You’d have to be a Nazi to vote Nein on 19.

Obama being bi-racial brings an interesting dynamic to the presidency. Back in the pre-Lincoln days, if you were black and white, you had conflicting rights and were considered to be self-employed. My nieces and nephews are mixed, which gives me carte blanch, as far as that joke goes.

Skinny jeans give emo kids the hugs that they never received from their parents.

Wendy Williams is the answer to the age old question: what would happen if Tyra Banks fucked a pile of extra chromosomes.

Christopher Columbus may have not been first to discover the Americas, but he was the first to realize that Indians could be used as dog food. My country celebrating the historically evil has enabled me to miss over a dozen Mondays in school, so I guess it all worked out.

Almost half a decade later, and the remaining Kennedy files are still being kept in an inaccessible, Government-controlled hiding place, along with Dubya’s service record and Reagan’s memory.

Comedy isn’t dead. It might have died briefly in 1994, when Bill Hicks passed and Carrot Top was voted comic of the year, but it was quickly resurrected, thanks to a variety of factors….

Such as:

A handful of classic Carlin HBO specials.

The emergence of such explosive stand-up acts as CK, Oswalt, Atell, Chappelle, Giraldo, Blurr, etc.

A solid alternative scene spearheaded by the likes of Odenkirk, Cross, Thompkins, Galifianakis and others.

The prolific comedy writings of Gould, Apatow (sometimes), Horowitz, David, etc.
…and so on. So, you see, comedy isn’t dead….anymore. If anything, it’s in a zombie state. If it’s done right, it will consume your brain.

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