HH Update

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It's Official

Well, it’s unfortunate but official, Conan O’Brien is leaving The Tonight Show with his last performance coming this Friday, January 22nd. For the past week, Conan has been opening the show with monologues fun filled with heavy hitting blows at NBC and Jay Leno, leaving you with this sense that his time is limited. On Tuesday, he opened by saying, “Hi, I’m Conan O’Brien and I’m just three days away from the biggest drinking binge in history.” Well the deal has been inked, which is said to be worth $45M. NBC will pay Conan about $32.5M and the rest will be divided amongst his staff. The deal also has some stipulations, like Conan will not be able to perform on air on any other network until September 2010. So, for all you Conan fans, you’ll have to Tivo or DVR his last 2 shows if you want to get your fix in the future.

Going Mobile

In a continued effort to bring you the Heavy Hitters of Comedy from anywhere in the world, we are excited to announce our new mobile website. If you own an iPhone, G-phone, Droid, or Blackberry, you now can view all of our Comedy Columns and Heavy Hitting News. You can also email your favorite columns and news beats to your friends. All you have to do is visit the website on your mobile phone, it’s really easy to use.

We are working on an iPhone application that will give you access to our directories, events, profiles, video and other features and services. Look for that later this year.

Conan or Jay

It’s not official, but it looks like Conan O’Brien will be leaving “The Tonight Show.” This is a complete disappointment to fans of the show as well as the fans of the franchise.

Last night on “The Jay Leno Show,” Jay decided to offer his point of view on the whole situation, which was an obvious attempt to selfishly save face. Unfortunately, it didn’t work for me! Remember the days, when entertaining an audience meant you actually had to entertain the audience? Boy, those were the days, but now it is all about reality TV moments. Here’s a nickels worth of free advice, “stop talking about your backstage business and just handle it!”

It took Jay a total of 3 and a half minutes of network television time to explain his view of the situation and guess what? It turns out it is completely NBC’s fault. How about that? Jay explained that NBC is unhappy with his shows performance, oh yeah, and Conan’s too.

This just in: Jeff Zucker, President of NBC has just commissioned a time machine and they are ready to go back in time. GREAT SCOTT MARTY!

Jay went on to explain that in 2007, NBC wanted to retain both Jay and Conan, and in an effort to not repeat the past (Jay Laughs), NBC offered Conan the “Tonight Show” job. Unfortunately, they gave Conan the job with 7 months left on Jay’s contract. NBC said “oops, our bad…hindsight is 20/20” and proceeded to repeatedly shoot themselves in the foot with a sawed-off comedy shotgun.

Here’s how the ship hit the iceberg, it was when NBC decided to move Jay Leno to prime-time instead of paying out the remainder of his contract. The reality is that “The Jay Leno Show” is scoring the low numbers that are affecting the affiliates.

My favorite thing about this big ass debacle is that Jay refers to being replaced by Conan as being fired. Just for the record, Jay has never been fired from NBC. He was repurposed. There’s a difference.

Well, thanks Jay for wasting my time last night, letting me in on how you see it. Your negotiation tactics are terrible. Are you looking for free legal advice or sympathy?

This is a complete disaster for NBC and just another example of why the network continues to be in last place. When Comcast purchases the network I hope heads roll.

Conan after 16 years of “The Late Show” and 7 months of “The Tonight Show,” NBC has decided to screw you over. They are going with Jay. I only hope your move is quick and successful and that you blow Jay out of the water. The game is on! Good luck.

Mo'Nique

Comedian Mo’Nique won big at the Golden Globes last night picking up the award for best performance by an actress in a supporting role for her portrayal of “Mary” in the film “Precious: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire.” She took home the Globe and the victory immediately set off talk about the Oscars. It was her acceptance speech at the beginning of the show that was one of the most moving moments on stage. “I’m shaking,” she said. “And when I tell y’all I am in the midst of my dream, and when I look into the eyes of the man that I stood next to at 14 years old and I said to him, ‘One day, we are going to be stars.’ And he said, ‘You first.’ And we walked this red carpet together tonight. Sidney, I love you more than you will ever know, baby.” Mo’Nique’s performance in “Precious” is just another example of how stand-up comedians can crossover and perform serious roles. I’ve always been a fan of Mo’Nique for her ability to stay true to herself. I fell in love with her when she performed for a woman’s detention center in her comedy special “I Couda Been Your Cellmate.” She is a great example of a professional.

The Jewel of the Nile He's Not

Many news media outlet have been reporting that there is a NEW Osama bin Laden and his name is Anwar al-Awlaki. His picture has been plastered all over the news. Every time I see his picture, all I can think about is… “Is that the guy from the 1985 cult-classic film, THE JEWEL OF THE NILE? It’s one of my favorites, starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Danny DeVito, and supporting actor Avner Eisenberg, who played the Jewel.

It is uncanny how much they resemble each other. If you ever seen the movie, then you know that the Jewel-of the Nile, was a religious leader of his people as well as an icon. Wow, what a coincidence.

All I want to know is; who originated that look? The beard, strange hat that I have know idea what to call it and those “Where’s Waldo Glasses.” Obviously, the movie was first, circa 1985. So, I wonder. Did al-Awlaki get his look from the movie or is it just a coincidence?

His father just came out and said he was educated in the United States. So, that’s minus 1 point for the terrorist. What’s next, are we going to have to worry about people looking like Clark Griswold from the Family Vacation franchise. What a nightmare!

Conan O'Brien

Conan O’Brien has just announced that he will NOT be taking NBC’s offer to move the “TONIGHT SHOW” to the 12:05am time-slot. He went on to say, that any move would ruin the show permanently and that he hopes a deal can be made with NBC to stay in the same time-slot. Well NBC, the ball is now in your court, and all I have to say is, don’t mess it up.

NBC has a real big problem with transitioning shows. This disaster happened 18 years ago with Jay Leno and David Lettermen and now…Conan O’Brien. It is so sad that NBC hasn’t learned from its mistakes. I guess this is why NBC is in last place, poor decision making. Come on Jeff Z.!

NBC, this is what you should do if you want to continue to be respected as a producer of quality television programming. You need to tell Jay Leno, it has been fun, but it is time to say “Goodbye.” You can’t continue to give Jay Leno everything he asks for. It’s simply not fair to Conan or Jimmy Fallen. This problem impacts Conan and Jimmy’s staff personally as well as their fans, which they work so hard for night in and night out.

I get business and I know that both shows are not doing as well as they once did in their former time-slots, but damage has been done. You can not move Jay back to his old time-slot and think you’ll fix the problem, because his fans have moved on. It is now time to invest strength and passion for the new face of the TONIGHT SHOW. Conan and his staff have made a major life move to California to continue the legacy of one of the greatest shows on television. Conan’s numbers will improve and you will hate seeing that when you read the Nielsen’s. Don’t be foolish.

Here’s how you pull NBC out of last place. It begins with going back to basics. For one, bring back the sitcom. It seems to work for every other network. I know you guys want to save money, then I suggest going after unknown talent. Turn nobodies into house-hold names and stop paying MOVIE STARS to play television roles. Give me a chance and I will take you out of the red!

Foxy Lady

Sarah Palin has signed a multi-year deal with FOX News Channel to serve as a news contributor. FOX executive vice president, Bill Shine, said this move will help give Palin a larger audience while she continues to figure out whether to run for president in 2012. Well, if I didn’t call this one months ago. I predicted this move on July 3rd, 2009, after she announced her resignation as Alaska’s governor. I knew that she would eventually be on television full-time. I just thought it might be something a long the lines of the Huckabee or Glen Beck show, but even FOX knows that’s a risk not worse taking. Check out my twitter account for predictions.

Non-the-less, this is great news for the comedy community. John Stewart, and the rest of the gang is going to have a field day. You can count on it. This will be the hardest job she has ever had. I just hope they are paying her enough. She is going to be the funniest thing in 2010. I can’t wait for it.

Mark McGwire

Today, Mark McGwire admitted to the Associated Press that he had in fact taken steroids for a 10 year period and during that time he broke Roger Maris’s homerun record. It is believed that he came clean due to a new job with the St. Louis Cardinals. He recently became the hitting coach and felt obligated to set the record straight. It has been something he said he had been hiding behind for years. He admits to hating playing baseball during the “Steroid Era,” but also stated, that the Major League Baseball Organization has done a great job of eliminating the problem.

Wow, I’m truly amazed. Good for you Mr. McGwire. Even though you will receive a lot of criticism, I think it is always healthier for the sole to relieve yourself of the lies that you carry. That baggage is just no good. I knew you would come clean. It was only a matter of time. Especially, if you wanted any chance of getting into the Hall of Fame, you had to come clean. I mean, if you just compare the photos of the pre-steroid Mark McGwire verses the post-steroid Marc McGwire, it was like night and day. One minute he’s soooo small, and then boom, he’s the Hulk!

I did like watching all those homeruns though. That baseball bat looked like a toothpick. Whap! Homerun!

What if we allowed selected players to get all ripped by the steroids and then change the name from “Designated Hitter” to the “BEAST?” I’m just sayin’, it might improve the game a bit.

Jay Leno Show

There are rumors circulating that THE JAY LENO SHOW may be on the chopping block. NBC made a statement today confirming that there are issues with the show, but that they are confident in Jay Leno and are currently looking for ways to improve the show. Well, that didn’t stop Jay from joking about the rumors in last night’s show monologue. He said that he heard about the rumors on the radio, on his way into work. Joking with Kevin, he said, “If we are canceled, then we could take a vacation, and I hear the weather at FOX is really nice this time of year.” He also said, “NBC really stands for Never Believe your Contract,” touche.

Here’s the real talk: THE JAY LENO SHOW will go dark at 10pm during the Winter Olympics, and will be returning to the lineup at 11:30pm when the Olympics have ended. THE JAY LENO SHOW will be shortening its program to a half-hour, pushing the TONIGHT SHOW WITH CONAN O’BRIEN to 12pm and THE LATE SHOW WITH JIMMY FALLON to 1:05am.

Well, I have to tell you, I saw this coming. I was truly shocked to hear that Jay Leno was going to have a show at 10pm. I mean, the 10pm time-slot is probably the worst time-slot for the talk show format. I knew it was going to have a hard time creating confidence with the affiliates. Plus, the new show format is not really that appealing. I mean, to have your guests “Earn Their Plug,” it sounds cute, but not well-executed. The current show is simply “hit or miss.” I love the DAN BAND segments; JAY WALKING is fun; and the monologue is also entertaining. That’s about it.

I think the best play is for Jay Leno to retire from the talk show world and continue performing stand-up comedy across the country, as well as producing his new show, “Jay’s Garage,” which I fully enjoy. Sometimes, it’s best to just move on when you are on top of your game.

Don't Cry Tiger

Tiger Woods is still in the news and it’s becoming a little bit stalking, in my opinion. The media continues to report the “non-sighting” of the elusive Tiger of the forest lawn. This story is like being on a permanent safari filled with jokes. Where is that Tiger? Is he in Africa? Come on, stop it! Is he in Europe, South Florida or New York? What is this Carmen San Diego? Who really gives a shit? Today, the news reported that Tiger might be in New York staying with his friend Jim Dolan, the owner of Madison Square Garden. Well, that mansion should be comfortable enough to hide in, I’m sure. All I really have to say is: What’s it like to be a billionaire-in-hiding? That’s got to suck big-time.

My favorite part of this story is that Tiger is married to a beautiful woman, who has an identical beautiful twin sister. I mean, when does THAT party really get started? How many times do you think he’s rubbed up against the wrong twin? I’m going to say at least once.

I enjoy the fact that the media often isn’t sure if they have the correct twin. It must make heads explode in the paparazzi world just trying to figure out if IT’S Tiger’s wife or the other one. Hilarity!

The reason Tiger is hiding is obvious. He has something wrong with his face. He is probably in New York for plastic and reconstructive surgery, as well as the removal of his Titleist 975D Driver from his ass.

We will see Tiger soon enough, but when we do, we will all be looking for the scares. Good luck, plastic surgeons. “And Tiger, don’t mess with your nose, chin or cheek bones and definitely don’t use any lotion you get from Sammy Sosa!”

Casey Johnson

Why do young people keeping dying? Here’s the answer: Young people are dying because of pharmaceutical drugs. Basically, it is the combination of legal drugs, illegal drugs, alcohol and fucked up diets which are causing everyone to die before their time. I believe rich children are predisposed to having a problem with drugs, both legal and illegal. It is due in part to rich parents giving their children things they should not have, like homes and fancy cars. By giving your children things they shouldn’t have you run the risk of creating an individual that is never satisfied. Children who are not satisfied experiment with drugs. The drugs they experiment with are the ones they find in their parents’ medicine cabinets. Drug companies create drugs they believe help solve problems, but unfortunately, they do not work when placed in our control. Oops. If you think your child doesn’t have a problem now, just give it time. Also, remember, children are great at hiding the truth and manipulation. So, good luck getting the facts. Stop giving your children shit they don’t have to earn and make them work extremely hard for the simple things.

Rush Limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh was released from the hospital yesterday in Hawaii after doctors discovered there was “Nothing Wrong” with him. I find that truly hard to believe. Just looking at him I can find at least 3 things wrong, starting with his gigantic melon head. In true Rush fashion, he had a press conference at the hospital, where he took a jab at the President, claiming that the “health care system works just fine.”

What a jerk. Of course, we have hospitals in the country performing incredible medical services, using cutting edge technologies and who have the highest regards for standards. And, yes, the “System” in fact does work just fine for wealthy individuals who have no problem affording the health care coverage. I’m not trying to argue about whether the hospitals in our country are currently performing services effectively, efficiently and responsibly. I believe the argument is about individuals being able to afford health care coverage. You forget about the people who opt to stay home by default and who most often die, because they know they would rather die at home than take their family into debt in a hospital.

What I really don’t understand is how you can come out and claim that “Your” experience in a hospital is going to be anything like “My” experience in a hospital. I’ll give you an example. For instance, they won’t allow me to put together a press conference when I get released. All I get is a stack of unreadable documents that I have to decipher using some sort of decoder from the Da Vinci Code, before my bill duplicates due to late charges and other fees.

I get it. You are a very powerful man, who loves to influence primarily the ignorant and uneducated bible huggers. That strong, radio-listening part of middle America with their love for fear, football and Sunday Church barbeques. That’s not my crowd.

You act as if the moment we institute a universal health care program, then all of a sudden every doctor and nurse on the planet will forget how to perform their job. Well, I disagree and I don’t live in fear. Like teachers, who perform a universal service and who continue to see their classrooms grow while their paychecks lessen, our doctors and nurses will do the same. They will pick up the slack, and perform. They have a code of ethics to which they follow and they must because of the trust we place in their hands. We have great doctors and wonderful programs in the United States. We must remember and be able to see the problems that exist, and the way we fix the problems is by opening the doors to everyone, and not just the affluent.

Fuck you very much, Rush.

FOX Network

Will the FOX Network be on the air tomorrow, January 1st 2010 on the Time Warner Cable Network? Now, that is the question of the day. For the past week, both companies have been in tight talks regarding their future relationship. Basically, FOX wants money and Time Warner Cable doesn’t want to pay. FOX, who currently offers their channel for free, is tired of the old plan and wants a new one. Time Warner says, why change a good thing? It’s fun to watch two major, not to mention wealthy corporations have a baby fight. Come on guys, dust the dirt off your shoulders, shake hands and come in off the playground. You’re rich for Pete sakes.

Now, I would love to say, fuck FOX. Mainly for creating the FOX News Network, the network of lies and instigation. But, I can’t say fuck FOX, because they are the network that brings you “The O’Reilly Factor” and “Glen Beck,” 2 special shows which gives us so much comedy material it’s ridiculous. They also bring us Sunday Night Football and I love football.

Personally, I’m not much of a FOX fan. I don’t know, I always feel dumb when I watch FOX for some reason. Is it just me? Basically, FOX is just another cartoon network to me. Now, that I am an adult, I find it hard to watch cartoons. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the “Simpsons” and “The Family Guy” for their comedy that uses stereotyping and racially/sexually infused under and over tones. It’s comedy 101, baby. I find them funny and can see why they are so popular. I just don’t make the time to watch them.

Now, FOX wants more of the pie. Well, that’s cool. I guess you can’t get richer unless you ask for more money.

Happy Holidays

Well, we have almost reached the end of 2009 and all I have to say is, we made it! In September, the Heavy Hitters of Comedy successfully took the challenge of starting a business while the country was in the throes of the worst recession seen since the Great Depression. We created an online destination for comedy which is growing each and everyday. A place for everyone, professionals and fans alike. A place to find out about comedians and their events. A place to network with others in the comedy industry. A place for fans to network with other fans.

Our goals are huge and we look forward to the future. Personally, I can’t wait to show you what we have in store. For now, you will have to wait and see. Remember to check back often, as changes and additions are happening each day.

Have a safe and Happy New Year.

The Senate

The House has spoken. 60 yeas to 40 nays, phase one for the health care bill passes. Democrats show their weight, now let’s see if the Health Care Bill passes the House. The crazy thing is, it about socially spending money to save those that can’t save themselves. I can’t believe our “God loving” country wouldn’t be more open to saving lives. This bill is more important than anything we have ever dealt with in our countries history. At the end of the day, we need to always work together, with the constant objective…To help. Just like the stimulus plan, which helped the banks and car companies save themselves from bankruptcy.

HH Update

We launched our BETA website on September 14th of this year. Since then we have made some great strides and we are so close to achieving all of our goals. Our goal has been to be BETA free by early 2010. Recently, we have made some major improvements as well as addition to our growing website. In a continued effort to provide you with the best tools available on the net in order to help you network with others in the comedy world, we have even more to talk about. Now, here is some great news. All registered users can now “Become a Fan” of other members. Becoming a “Fan” of someone is as simple as visiting a members public profile, comic profile, or comedy column and selecting the button labeled “Become a Fan.” Becoming a fan is much like twitters “Following,” and it is an acknowledgment to the member that someone else is all interested.

We also offer to some members the ability to provide future comedy events, which is an awesome opportunity to promote yourself and your shows. The last thing, you can now “Favorite” something. What does that mean, well, wherever you see the button “Favorite,” click it and find out what happens. No, just kidding. When you favorite something, it becomes a part of your personal profile and is featured on the page you land on when you log in. It is also featured on your “Public Profile.” Give a bit of insight to the world of your personal interests. Please let us know what you think, and if you think we should add or create something new just let us know.

Your comedy friend, Mike Casentini

Taylor Lautner

This weekend, SNL was hosted by Mr. Twilight himself, Taylor Lautner and oddly enough the show freakin’ scored its highest viewing audience of the year. Great. Now, I have said a lot of positive things about the most recent SNL episodes, but this one did not score that well with me. I really don’t get all this Vampires and Werewolves stuff. It is simply blowing my mind. Although, I understand that the girls like this guy a lot, even though he is not funny. I guess having a host that can do flips is pretty cool. I’m going to have to work on strengthening my back if I’m going to attempt any back flips. Damn you Taylor Lautner!!!

Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin made an appearance on the Tonight Show with Conan O’Brian this Friday, on the final stop of her national book tour. A book I won’t be reading anytime soon, but a book none the less. She made her appearance brief thank goodness, and I will say this, it was a decent appearance. William Shatner also made an appearance in his reoccurring role as a beatnik, poking fun at Sarah Palin by reading excerpts from the new book. After Shatner completed his set and while the audience was giving an ovation to his performance, out of nowhere comes Sarah Palin to “give it right back” to William Shatner. She read excerpts from his own book, showcasing her “in-front of the camera” talent. This lady is destine for television. I can’t wait to see her host Saturday Night Live one day. You know it’s going to happen, especially if she gets her own network show. I bet when Fox replaces Huckabee, it will be with Sarah Palin in a 50 million dollar deal. Wait for it.

SNL

Saturday Night Live scores again with another great show this weekend with host actress Blake Lively from hit television show, Gossip Girl. Once again, SNL touched on all the most recent news from the past week including the Party Crashers at the White House and the Tiger Woods scandal.

Saturday Night Live has made some pretty big strides in the last few months. I found this show to be spot on and extremely funny. I recommend visiting the SNL website for more video, but to make things a bit easier we have attached 2 very funny clips from the show. We hope you enjoy them.

Jim Norton

Jim Norton and Jesse Ventura got into a verbal argument on the Opie and Anthony Radio Show yesterday, that ended with Jesse Ventura walking off the show. Jesse Ventura was discussing his new show regarding politics and conspiracy theories when he began to disrespect Jim Norton, calling Jim unpatriotic amongst other things. Jimmy didn’t back down, spitting insults like you would expect from a comedian who had been disrespected. What was also strange was when Jesse Ventura actually touches Jim Norton on the shoulder. Check out the attached YouTube video.

SNL

Saturday Night Live was a big hit this weekend, hosted Joseph Gordon-Levitt with performances by the Dave Matthews Band. From start to finish the show was great and one of the best I’ve seen in a very long time. Joseph Gordon-Levitt was high energy from the start, falling on the ground and doing back flips, just to get a laugh in the opening monologue. They touched on just about everything from the news of the week to the family get together for the Thanksgiving holiday. If you get a chance, I recommend you catch the full episode. We’ve selected the show opener for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

Comic Profiles

So now that you’re singed up as a Fan of Comedy, remember that you can upgrade your membership level for FREE! Fan’s of Comedy can become Premier Fans, Comedians, Industry Professionals or Comedy Clubs!

Comedians, please take advantage of this offer as you have the most to gain from our services! Promote your events, received discounted services, have a place on the world wide web that’s specific to you and your career, and coming soon take advantage of our Comedian Career Tracker Tool!

So what are you waiting for! Log onto your Profile Page, find the red Upgrade Button and gain access to more fun and exciting features!

Please remember to check back often as we are diligently working around the clock to create new tools and features to assist the growing Comedy Community. If you have any questions, please feel free to give us a call or simply shoot us an email. We are here to help!

Sarah Palin

Here goes the friggin’ neighborhood. Sarah Palin is back in the news promoting her new book, “Going Rogue.” A book about Sarah Palin’s life and career in politics. Already a top the Best Seller list, “Going Rogue” is sure to ruffle some feathers in both parties. I have to tell you, I was trying to avoid writing something about this new book. I said to myself, stop giving her all the press. AND, then I stumbled upon this picture and ALL WAS FORGIVEN.

Everyone always has something to say about Sarah Palin with her ability to be so polarizing, as well as personally separating the country into 2 specific groups. Those that love her and those that really really…really dislike her. I will say this, I do not like her personality, but I do like her face. It’s pretty, and that’s about it.

Now, the one positive thing I can say about Sarah Palin is, her face inspires others to be creative. Take the picture above as an example. The photoshopping of her face onto a body with big boobies took an individual more time than it took for her to quit her job as governor. Put that into perspective.

HH Update

We’ve got some good news. We are now offering all Comedy Columns and Heavy Hitting News for ALL unregistered users. Now, you can get your comedy fix without having to log in. We are also introducing the ability to share, email and re-post options for all columns and news.

We also would like to let you know that registering is as free as Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, YouTube, CNN, etc. The difference is we are a smaller company working hard to promote comedy in the best light. Our goal is not to intrude on your life, but rather provide information that is useful and enjoyable. That is our goal.

So, if you are a comedian, you should register and begin leveraging our online tools that we will be using to promote you in the future.

If you are a Comedy Club, you should register and begin leveraging our online tools that will help you understand about future talent as well as promote your shows.

If you are an Industry Professional, you should register and begin leveraging our online tools to find out about talent you never knew existed, and find out how well they are doing in the game. You can also promote your talent to comedy clubs more effectively and on a 24-7 time clock.

If you are a Fan of comedy, you should register and vote for your favorite comedians, leave comments, and find out about future events regarding your favorite comedians.

If you have any questions, please give us a call or you can Ask us a question online.

Jon Stewart doing Glen Beck

Fox Television’s, Glen Beck, went home sick the other day with an appendicitis. Opening up the door for Jon Stewart of the Daily Show, to do what is being considered by the Left Wingers as the best Glen Beck comedy spoof to date. In what felt like an impromptu moment, Jon devoted over 8 minutes of the show duplicating the body language and Moniker of Glen Beck, in an almost eerie way. Simply funny.

Bill Cosby Himself

Monday night Bill Cosby was the guest of honor and recipient of the prestigious Kennedy Center Mark Twain Award. Cosby was the focus of tributes from Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Dick Gregory, George Lopez, Sinbad, and many other admiring celebrities who have been fortunate enough to work with the legendary story-teller.

Hailed as a ground-breaker Cosby’s wholesome and hysterical stand-up comedy and subsequent television and movie career opened the door for a generation of comedians. The 90 minute event, which airs November 4th on PBS nation wide, was a combination of clips from Cosby’s career and personal tributes from the celebrity friends who have been inspired by the comic legend.

Bill Cosby is the quintessential story teller, with incredulous tales of everyday life that transport his audience into his brilliant mind. Known best for his unique mannerisms and range of voices that paint a vibrant picture of the tale he is spinning. Cosby went on to craft one of the most beloved sitcoms in television history. Premiering in an time when the entertainment industry was rarely shedding light on the lives of African American families, Cosby brought his vision of a successful professional couple facing the trials and tribulations of raising a family of five in a modern world. The country fell in love with Cosby and his show, and we’ve all been paying attention to this Humorist ever since.

The Mark Twain Award was established in 1998 and is considered one of the highest forms of recognition for a humorist, comedian, or writer. Mark Twain was an American Icon who captured the voice of a generation and the attention of a nation. Two things that can also be said of the great Bill Cosby.

David Cross

Wednesday night comedian David Cross performed at Washington D.C.’s Warner Theatre, and at the end of his routine he dropped a bombshell. Cross, who attended the White House Correspondence Dinner with his Hollywood starlet girlfriend Amber Tamblyn, boasted he snorted cocaine at that dinner while seated adjacent to Obama cabinet members, and by his accounts “super close to the president.”

It remains unclear weather the controversial comedian was still working his routine, or weather he actually pulled an illicit stunt on a dare from his friends. David Cross has made rose to prominence in the world of comedy by pushing the limits and exhibiting outlandish behavior for our collective benefit. His quirky character of Arrested Development, an underrated sitcom that has garnered critical acclaim, showcased the comedians dedication to pushing the boundaries of what is appropriate.

What is clear is that the nations leading political commentators are in an uproar about Cross’s apparent admission. Cross admitted that the act was “crazy and there’s security, Secret Service is standing there… I’m there and the president is right here with all these people at the table. Cross claims he has photographic evidence of him snorting cocaine “maybe 30 feet from the president of the United States.”

Either an insane act of defiance and rebellion, or a Machiavellian publicity stunt, Cross has succeeded in gaining the attention of the nation. Surely talk show hosts and comedians across the country will be using cross for fodder for material.

How Will They Manage?

The nations uproar about the financial sectors exorbitant pay and bonuses for their executives despite funding those incentives with taxpayer money has finally elicited a response. The most egregious offenders Citigroup, AIG, Bank of America, General Motors, Chrysler and the two automakers’ financing arms have exhibited a flagrant disregard for humility, decorum, and discretion — not to mention common sense. In response Kenneth Feinberg, the special master at the Treasury, who has been charged with overseeing compensation issues, is expected to order the companies to slash compensations for their top 25 highest paid employees.

Feinberg has been in negotiations with the companies for months, and has already exerted some influence, as hollow as it may be. Prime example being outgoing Band of America CEO Kenneth Lewis, who at Feinberg’s urging has announced to forgo his salary for 2009. Shortly following his announcement came news of Lewis’ $53.2 million pension. Adding insult to insult upon injury, according to filings, Lewis cleared $63 million over the last year while steering the banking giant into the ground, including $10.8 million in salary, stock and options for 2008.  Feinberg and the White House claim these new pay restrictions will be enforced.  Their plan is impressive, cutting the salaries by an average of 50%.

Neil Barofsky, the special inspector general for the Troubled Assets Relief Program, told Wolf Blitzer on CNN’s Situation Room, there is even more reason for the backlash from the White House. According to Barofsky these companies have already been taking federal money from other programs in addition to the TARP bailout. All total the financial sector has grabbed over $3 TRILLION of the taxpayers money since the sectors cry for help.

Most Americans appeared to take the bailout fairly silently because there wasn’t much of a choice. Pundits from both sides of the isle told the people that the disaster looming would be catastrophic. What is clear to everyone, but these large companies and their proponents, is that they gave the money to the wrong people. The money was meant to stimulate lending, putting desperately needed stimulus into the American peoples pockets, not those who so incompetently drove their companies to the verge of collapse.

Latenight Challege

“It’s time for a change in late night — and there’s no better man to lead the revolution than George Lopez — the hilarious, authentic everyman of today’s entertainment scene. Starting Monday, November 9, 2009, George is ditching the desk, tossing the cue cards and bringing the party back to late night.” — www.lopeztonight.com

In a year that has already seen a great deal of change, TBS is throwing it’s hat in the ring. Leno has moved to prime time promoting O’Brien and Fallon. Letterman is cleaning up with some of his largest margins of victory in the ratings game and with Kimmel coasting. Lopez is an underdog to compete in the Latenight market, but looking at TBS’s current late night line-up of reruns from the networks, Lopez only needs to compete with those numbers to be a success on the Tuner Network.

Lopez has long been an underdog, rising up from obscurity the old fashion way, on the stage across the country. Lopez has long been identified as a hardworking comedian, who has paid his dues working his way up through the stand-up circuit, which led to his own TV show, and impressive film credits.

As for the format of the show, TBS promises that Lopez is going to offer something new and different for Latenight viewers. Listed on the website www.lopeztonight.com, the show has some interesting new Ideas. First of all they are describing this show as a “variety show” and promise to ditch the desk and cue cards for an audience participation heavy show.

The Nation will tune in on November 9th, and those that love Lopez, and his fan base is grande, will love his show. Those who are looking for something more from Latenight TV will have to watch and see what Lopez Tonight has to offer.

Denied!!!

It appears the Heath Insurance Industry is conducting business as usual, finding new and creative ways to disqualify our nations children from receiving coverage. On the heals of Rocky Mountain Health Plan’s change in policy granting coverage to a 17 pound infant, United Healthcare’s Golden Rule has disqualified a healthy 2 year old girl for being underweight.

KMGH 7NEWS in Denver reported that Rob and Rachel Bates, were shocked when they received notice that their daughter could not be covered because her weight was bellow standards. The Bates’ daughter, Aislin weighs 22 two pounds and according to her family she is an average healthy kid.

Aislin Bates was born premature weighing 6 pounds, since then she has grown to 22 pounds. According to the Center for Disease Control growth charts, she falls just under the 5th percentile weight of 23 pounds.

According to 7NEWS: “Laden added that comprehensive coverage is currently available through Cover Colorado for individuals who don’t qualify for health insurance in the individual market.”

While the Insurance industry decries the dangers of government run healthcare, representatives like Laden are indicating that parents who can’t get coverage through private insurers should utilize government provided healthcare options like Cover Colorado and Cobra.

According to Rachel Bates, to cover Aislin on Cobra is equal to the cost of covering the other three family members through private insurance options. This sounds like a perfectly reasonable argument for more funding for public health insurance options and it’s remarkable that despite their multimillion dollar advertising campaign demonizing such plans, the health insurance agencies can justify denying healthcare to our nations children by espousing the benefits of government run insurance policies.

The War On Drugs?

In a Memo from Deputy Attorney General David Ogden to federal prosecutors in the 14 states that allow medical marijuana use, the Obama administration clarified the federal governments stance. It’s a waste of time and resources for federal law enforcement agents to prosecute individuals who use and grow marijuana in accordance with their states medicinal laws.

The Memo does indicate that prosecutors should go after dispensaries who participate in violence, illegal use of firearms, selling to minors, and money laundering.

The memo also discussed the problems with illegal pot sales in America. Noting that the illegal pot sales in this country are the largest source of money for violent mexican drug cartels. However the federal law enforcement agencies have limited resources. Therefore those resources should be focused towards the violent criminals, and not towards medical marijuana users and their caregivers.

“This is a major step forward,” said Bruce Mirken, communications director for the Marijuana Policy Project. “This change in policy moves the federal government dramatically toward respecting scientific and practical reality.”

However the Memo’s release comes one week after Los Angeles District Attorney Steve Cooley announced he wants to close clinics that sell marijuana for profit. Los Angeles, a City with an infamous gang problem, funded primarily by the sale of drugs, appears confused on where their resources should best be focused.

Yeah You!

President Obama’s challenge to congress was clear “serve the national interest despite the unrelenting efforts of the special interests.” Obama was clear and direct — the fear and smear tactics of the insurance industry is a desperate last ditch effort to scare the American public away from health care reform. According to the President, it’s the same game the insurance industry has been playing for generations.

“The history is clear: For decades rising health care costs have unleashed havoc on families, businesses and the economy. And for decades, whenever we have tried to reform the system, the insurance companies have done everything in their considerable power to stop us.”

Obama stressed that the insurance industry isn’t even denying the fact that their system is corrupt and broken. Simply that any change would be worse than the current situation. The surest sign of guilt is the lack of a not guilty plea. A plea that to date the Insurance Industry has yet to promote. With Millions spent on a marketing campaign aimed at defeating heath care reform, the message is not, look at all the great things we do for our customers, but how much worse they would be if we try to change things.

With Glenn Beck busy comparing Obama to Hitler again, the airwaves are filled with threats of horrible things to come if we try to buck the insurance industries unethical trends, the right wingers are overlooking the lesson of 2008 — hope triumphs over fear. John McCain can’t like being a scar monger, and up until the election hadn’t acted like one, but under pressure he fell in line, much to Obama’s benefit.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” — Albert Einstein

Noooooo!!!

Captured by CCTV at Ashburton Railway Station in Melbourne, Australia on Thursday, a 6 month old baby defied what appeared to be certain mortality. The child’s mother briefly let go of the stroller to pull up her pants. Before she could reach her descending jeans, the stroller rolled off the platform and onto the tracks. The terrified mother lunged for the stroller, just as the train pulled up to the platform. As the train continued on for thirty meters, the child laid virtually unharmed beneath the train.

Spokesman John Rees from Connex, the company that operates the train, told Australia’s Channel 7 television station: “It’s a miracle this baby wasn’t killed. The baby managed to escape with just a cut to the forehead, I’m told. It’s a complete miracle.”

The traumatized mother and miraculous baby, where united in the ambulance, and whisked off to Royal Children’s Hospital. Amazingly, mother and child were released shortly after arriving at the hospital.

Ironically, according to Channel 7, this heart-stopping event occurred just one day after a public awareness campaign about the dangers of strollers on train platforms. Comedians and conspiracy fans are sure to be focusing on this story. Do you really think the Ausies are that sly? Could they have pulled off the most elaborate and successful public awareness campaign ever?

Post A Comment With your best monologue joke about this News Story. The Best Submission will be featured in Tomorrow’s news stories.

Cry Wolf 2000

Today in and around Fort Collins, authorities were frantically searching the sky for signs of a young Colorado boy who had apparently taken flight in his fathers ill-conceived 3D low altitude helium aeronautical device.

The family, who was featured on the reality show “Wife Swap” had apparently instilled in their young son the desire for not only attention, but reality TV. When the family noticed that the boy was missing, along with the helium transportation device, the city jumped into emergency searches, CNN broke away from it’s continuous Obama healthcare watch, and the country held it’s collective breath.

According to local authorities, they interviewed the boys brother multiple times, and the brother even produced a reality TV-esque video of the missing boy climbing into the precarious aircraft.

After much diligent police investigation the boy was found hiding in the families attic “playing with toys and taking a nap.” The boy who cried wolf has just been updated for the new millennium. While the last century had several notable occasions where entire communities bonded together through rescue efforts to save young boys who hadn’t actually fell into wells.

Exit for American Dream

As the Champagne is already being poured on Wallstreet and smiling faces with glowing forecasts can be seen on almost every cable news show, families all across the country are being pushed one step closer to homelessness.

Realty Trac, arguably the largest online foreclosure marketplace, and a leading source for foreclosure information, has just released their third quarter foreclosure statistics and the picture is not pretty. The previous three months have netted the highest foreclosure rate since Realty Trac began tracking disclosures.

While both political parties are sticking on message, indicating that the countries economy is beginning to recover, 1 in every 136 homes in this country is in some stage of foreclosure. That number is up 23% since the third quarter of 2008.

California was ranked third worst in the nation behind Nevada and Arizona. California has long had financial disfunction on a state level, but the number of homes in some stage of foreclosure is sure to hit main street: 1 in 53 housing units received a foreclosure filing during the third quarter of 2009.

Pundits are all smiles, politicians have begun patting themselves on the back, and hardworking americans, those who can find jobs obviously with unemployment up to 9.8% nationwide, are losing their homes at record and staggering rates.

Fear not Californians, the odds of winning the megamillion lottery are only one in 175,711,536. There are a group of advocacy groups out there trying to put people back into homes, just not their homes. According to a New York Times article, and Michael Stoops, executive director of the National Coalition for the Homeless, groups around the country are assisting homeless families to squat in foreclosed homes. There are no available statistics on how many foreclosed homes have been occupied by these homeless families, but one must question if the banks are forcing people out of their homes, just so they can sit empty or be occupied by a different homeless family, why force all these Americans out of their homes and onto the streets. Greed?

Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize

As a surprised President Obama stood in front of reporters in the Rose Garden, his reluctance was evident in his words and his body language. The President had just learned he had been awarded one of the most prestigious awards in the world, and his response was muted and guarded.

“To be honest, I do not feel that I deserve to be in the company of so many of the trans-formative figures who’ve been honored by this prize, men and women who’ve inspired me and inspired the entire world through their courageous pursuit of peace.” – Barack Obama

With the blogosphere ignited with incendiary disbelief on one side, and calls to canonize Obama on the other, it is understandable why the President seemed less than enthusiastic. With unemployment numbers rising, jobs still being lost hundreds of thousands at a time, a hostile health care debate, polling numbers slipping, and talk of a Democratic slaughter in 2010, the Nobel Prize at this point is a distraction to domestic affairs. One which has already added fodder for his opponents.

For Obama and the American people the punch line is be careful what you wish for. One of the focuses of the Obama Presidential Campaign was to restore dignity and respect to America in the eyes of the world. The international community is following our historic President’s actions, and they are obviously impressed.

What appears to be missing from much of the commentary about Obama being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, is that he received it by doing exactly what he promised the American people he would do as President. He won over the international community. While Obama struggles to pass health care reform, with a long list campaign promises still left to be checked off, this campaign promise has been held without much attention of the American people.

For those in utter disbelief and filled with contempt, i.e. the republicans, they should get ready to see many more awards in Obama’s future. He already beat out Bill Clinton for a Grammy, and I’m not sure how it’s going to happen, but rest assured the fine people at the ESPY’s are surely working on a new category, so they can bestow honors on Obama.

In 2008 our country clamored for a president who could create a more substantial debate on nuclear arms than how to pronounce the word nuclear. The nation has been rewarded with a President, whom the international community has become enamored with. Gone are the days of arrogance and ego, here are the days of humility and logic.

“And that’s why this award must be shared with everyone who strives for justice and dignity; for the young woman who marches silently in the streets on behalf of her right to be heard, even in the face of beatings and bullets; for the leader imprisoned in her own home because she refuses to abandon her commitment to democracy; for the soldier who sacrificed through tour after tour of duty on behalf of someone half a world away; and for all those men and women across the world who sacrifice their safety and their freedom and sometime their lives for the cause of peace.

That has always been the cause of America. That’s why the world has always looked to America. And that’s why I believe America will continue to lead. Thank you very much.” – Barack Obama

picture named Asian.gif by WellPoint

Insurance giant WellPoint Heath Insurance Company, has reached all new highs in hypocrisy and contradiction. After a summer where one of the largest insurance companies in the country has parted with overwhelming amounts of lobbying dollars, and strong-armed its employees into publicly opposing the administrations healthcare reform efforts, they have turned on their customers and employees.

We can all rest assure that WellPoint CEo Angela Braly will be able to afford any heathcare needs that she encounters with her nearly $10 million salary from 2008, the majority of the companies employees along with their customers are left holding the short end of the stick.

The executive heavy company has the remarkable ability to keep a straight face despite obvious indiscretions. WellPoint has been the focus of criticism for it’s internal attempts to motivate employees to publicly and vocally oppose President Obama’s healthcare plan, particularly the public option.

While the media’s focus was a direct to the employees’ compliance with said directives, the company rewarded them with a smack in the face: a reduction of benefits and an increase in employee cost to participate in the companies benefit program.

If that weren’t enough, the WellPoint’s most recognized contribution to the healthcare debate is as the example of a company that rewards it’s employees for dropping customers’ benefits for any reasons that they consider defensible.

Imagine a country where a company can take your hard earned money and promise you they’ll be there to cover you when your health takes a turn for the worse. Then Imagine that the same company is financially rewarding their employees for finding ways to break that promise.

Welcome to the United States of America, when the nation is run by wealth and greed. It seems only fitting that those same employees who have profited by unjustly revoking the insurance that most of America has come to rely upon, have that same security leveraged by their own company.

Maybe there is justice in the universe, but what about the executives? For Shame, is all I can say.

TARP turns one

As the Troubled Asset Relief Program reaches it’s one year anniversary, the incongruity between Wallstreet’s assessment of our economy, and the startling unemployment and Job Loss numbers is glaring.  While the inhabitant’s of New York’s most infamous street smile with optimism, Americans across the country join the droves of unemployed and underemployed citizens seeking federal assistance.

According to the Huffington Post, the federal government has dished out $573.3 Billion through TARP.  Of that amount only $72.8 Billion has been repaid to the taxpayers, leaving an outstanding tab of over $500 Billion dollars.  As the Dow makes a serious push towards 10,000, another number is lurching towards 10.

New unemployment numbers indicate the nation’s unemployment rate has reached 9.8%.  With an additional 263,000 jobs lost in September, the nation is feeling the pinch.  With American belts cinched and the very lending institutions that are sitting on a large portion of the  outstanding $500 Billion,  bailout recipient Bank of America may have released the most astonishing number of the day.

Outgoing Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis will be descending gracefully from his position with a $53 million golden parachute.  What makes that number even more obscene is that it is only a fraction of Lewis’ take.  According to Reuters, Lewis will walk with a total of $125 million in benefits, stock and other compensation.

It shouldn’t take a stand-up comedian to come up with something witty about our current financial debacle.

Surprise

On a day when by all-rights the lead story should be the discovery of the oldest human skeleton ever found, giving new indications to how we evolved, Letterman’s roller-coaster ride is on the tips of the tongues of most in the entertainment world.

With an auspicious start to the new season, Letterman hosted a pair of presidential guests, highlighting a star-studded lineup for the week. President Obama and Letterman had a charming and humorous back and forth, and Letterman seemed like he was with an old friend when Bill Clinton was on his couch.

The results in the ratings was overwhelming. Letterman blew a way the Tonight Show by the largest margin in 15 years, and dominating in the 18-49 and 25-54 year old demographics.

As news of Letterman’s domination of the late night market hit the wire, David Letterman was taping his show for tonight. According to a press release by Worldwide Pants Inc. Letterman made some shocking personal revelations during today’s taping. Letterman has been the victim of an attempted extortion. At stake was the exposure of Letterman’s sexual affairs with members of his staff. Another revelation Letterman made while exposing the attempted blackmail.

At the top of his game, with the numbers to prove it, and Mr. Letterman all the while is entrenched in the kind of real life turmoil that must put that type of success into perspective.

At least Letterman will have some material for his monologue about today’s announcement of a remarkable discovery, truly shedding light on the evolution V. creation debate.

The Missing Link

Earlier Today CNN added new fodder to an age old debate. With the announcement of a remarkable anthropological find, the question of God and how we all got here just got more interesting.

The discovery of Ardipithecus ramidus, quaintly referred to as Ardi by the scientists who have been studying the 4.4 million old 4 foot, not quite human, not quite chimpanzee skeleton. As project co-director and paleontologist Tim White from the university of California, Berkeley told CNN “this is not an ordinary fossil. It’s not a chimp. It’s not a human. It shows us what we used to be.”

As C. Owen Lovejoy, an evolutionary biologist at Kent State University and project anatomist, told CNN Thursday”what Ardipithecus tells us is that we as humans have been evolving to what we are today for at least 6 million years,”

With the country already in the midst of a heated debate on who or what God is, and how us as human beings came to be. Comedians all around the country should be paying attention to this historic addition of evidence.

As it turns out Man did not evolve from chimpanzees, our closest genetic match on the planet, but both chimpanzees and humans both evolved from the same ancestor, who’s story is yet to be told, as their remains lie somewhere under volcanic rock or mounds of earth. Just waiting to tell give us more material for the Debate on God.

America?

“The financial services industry, it’s heads they win, tails the public loses” charges Rep. Jackie Speier (D-Calif.) in a heated exchange during today’s hearings of the Subcommittee on Capital Markets, Insurance, and Government Sponsored Enterprises. On the other end of Speier’s accusations were Raymond W. McDaniel, Jr. of Moody’s, Stephen Joynt of Fitch, and Standard and Poor’s Deven Sharma. As the three largest credit rating agencies in the country, their AAA AND AA RATINGS OF AIG and Lehman Brothers through the middle of September, was under question from the House Subcommittee.

McDaniel defended the analysts ratings saying that after the Bear Sterns (the fifth largest firm) bailout the analysts assumed the government would support both institutions, and therefore the firms fate was sound. AIG is now on it’s fourth multi-billion-dollar bailout, and Lehman Brothers declared bankruptcy.

Speier pushed on “You had rated AIG and Lehman Brothers as AAA, AA minutes before they were collapsing. After they did fail, did you take any action against those analysts who had rated them? Did you fire them? Did you suspend them? Did you take any actions against those who had put that kind of a remarkable grade on products that were junk?”

The answer was unanimous: nothing. All three executives from the three largest credit ratings agencies admitted no disciplinary actions were taken against any of the analysts who issued the now admitted inflated rates.

Road to Recovery

Special inspector general Neil Barofsky was interviewed by The Huffington Post Investigation Funds Christine Spolar and was both blunt and terrifying.  Barofsky, who has been charged with tracking the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) financial bialout, made some staggering claims.  

According to Barofsky, one of the primary purposes of the bailout is being completely ignored by the financial institutes that have received billions of dollars.  Increasing lending for average Americans was one of the pivitol arguments that sold Tarp to the American people.  So if the lending institutions aren’t using the money to increase lending to consumers in order to stimulate the economy, what are they doing with the money? According to Barofsky “acquiring assets, paying off their debts, and sitting on the capital.”  So the money that was supposed to trickle down to hard working Americans is sitting in accounts earning interest for these companies.  

If that isn’t enough to raise the blood pressure of every red-blooded American, the financial sector’s greed has failed to make our financial system more secure.  In fact as Barofsky puts it “I think we may be in a far more dangerous place today than we were a year ago.”

News Update

Last Week Fox News took out a full-page ad in the Washington Post claiming to be the sole network to Cover the Washington D.C. Tea Party Rally on September 12th.  The outrage from CNN was overwhelming.  CNN devoted segments for it’s most popular shows to correct this erroneous and outrageous claim.  CNN began running commercials calling out Fox News complete with the video proving their extensive coverage.

Fox News is often accused of distorting the truth with their unapologetic bias, but this is the first time a reputable news organization such as CNN has flat out called them liars on National T.V. and bought airtime to make sure the message was heard loud and clear.

During the last week an evolving trend has become clear – The Fox News Crew led by Bill O’reilly and Glenn Beck, two of the most admonished show hosts, has been mimicking rational journalists.  In the last week the Fox News team has forced some rational questions on their predictably Conservative guests, and even advocated some liberal views.  In an Interview with Katie Couric that aired Tuesday Night, Glenn Beck dropped a bombshell.  Not only did the ultra-conservative right wing talk show host admit that the country is better off with Obama than McCain, but that if Hillary Clinton had won the primary, then he probably would have voted for Clinton over McCain.

Earlier this month Bill O’reilly even came out supporting a public health care option when he told The Heritage Foundation’s Nina Owcharenko “I want, not for personally for me, but for working Americans, to have a option, that if they don’t like their health insurance, if it’s too expensive, they can’t afford it, if the government can cobble together a cheaper insurance policy that gives the same benefits, I see that as a plus for the folks,”

If compared with their published works, including Beck’s new book, which has him dressed in a uniform resembling the uniforms worn by the SS, the Fox News team’s recent behavior is completely uncharacteristic.  Is Fox News Lying again by placating the left, or have these fanatic mouthpieces actually seen error in their previous ideals?

While the country watches Fox News Fake to the Left, it should surprise no one when they swing back to the right at full speed.

News Update

Larry David has figured out a way to have a Seinfeld reunion, without selling out. In fact he’s actually going to be making fun of the premise on his new show. The Seinfeld gang is reuniting for a mock reunion on Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm. This confusing scenario where the cast play themselves in a fictional situation is after all the premise of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Larry David’s new show has long been a reunion of sorts for Seinfeld fans. With plots, story lines, characters, and shenanigans that have resembled Seinfeld for years, the old gang should be right at home on the show. Larry (on the show) is going to have to pull off a bigger breakup than Elaine, when her older boyfriend had a stroke just before she was going to break up with him. Larry David revealed in an interview with the LA Time’s Jace Jacobs that Loretta Black (Vivica A. Fox) is going to receive a Cancer Diagnosis, in the midst of Larry planning the Seinfeld reunion which Larry is only doing to get back his wife Cheryl.

After years of protesting that a Seinfeld reunion would never happen, it appears the reunion is on, only it’s not real. Tune in to episode three scheduled to air on HBO October 4th.

News Update

Last Night “Tea Part” Leader “Tea Party” leader Mark Williams appeared on a CNN’s “Anderson Cooper 360″ last night as part of a panel discussing his groups racist supporters. He characterized the blatantly racist signs against President Obama during the tea parties as “no more part of the mainstream of America than the hippies who wear nipple clips and feather boas in San Francisco streets during so-called peace demonstrations.”
James Carvel could be heard laughing hysterically off camera, Anderson Cooper quoted William’s inflammatory blog comments: “What you’re saying makes sense to me here when I’m hearing what you say but then I read on your blog, you say, you call the President an Indonesian Muslim turned welfare thug and a racist in chief.”
A beaming Williams responded, “Yeah, that’s the way he’s behaving.” An astounded Cooper pressed Williams asking if her truly believes Obama is an Indonesian Muslim and a welfare thug. Williams confidently responded “He’s certainly acting like it. Until he embraces the whole country what else can I conclude.”

As the Camera split to three screens, James Carvel has begun cackling and appears to be on the verge of falling out of his seat. David Gergen was rendered uncharacteristically silent. Comedians all over the country should have some great material from Mr. Williams.

News Update

On Tuesday, in an interview with NBC’s Brian Williams, former President Jimmy Carter says racism is behind the animosity towards President Obama. This statement sent shock waves through the political system with both democrats and republicans responding. The White House stated that it disagrees with Jimmy Carter statement and believes that making such an accusation only takes us away from the more important task of solving the job loss and health care issues facing our country. While RNC Chairman, Michael Steele was interviewed by CNN’s Wolf Blitzer. Steele stated that the United States DOES NOT have an overwhelming racism issue. That racism does in fact exists, although it’s simply false to believe that it is a component to all of the outrage and protesting that we are currently experiencing from the Tea Party movement. He went on to state, that for every 1 racist poster produced by a protesting Tea Party activist, there are hundreds, even thousands of non-racist posters being produced by protesting activists. The real question is, is it acceptable to have even 1 racist poster?

This statement from Carter will inspire a new debate about racism for weeks to come. Is our country more racist then it was yesterday? This is the question that the should be heard from stages around the country.

News Update

One of the great things about being ridiculously rich, world famous and owning every car that ever caught your eye, is that the downside never looks that steep.  Despite weeks of public reservation from the NBC executives, and even a little harsh reality dished out by Leno himself, when the fans warmly embraced Leno on his patent monologue stage Jay inauspiciously got to work banging out a predictable monologue that half the audience could have written out the night before.  But that’s Leno.  What most people missed was Jay showing us a glimpse of the one thing that might make him compete in the Drama-rich time slot.  The Jay Leno Show has a shot – 51 weeks to see how it plays out.  

The message is clear at NBC, and everyone appears to be on message.  Be calm and realistic, downplay any initial success, this show has months to determine.  NBC hasn’t owned much of Leno’s new time slot.  Their News and talk shows are successful, and Jay’s paid his rent for a long time.  Not to mention Leno owns the show, so the risk is minimized.  As for the boss, Mr. Leno didn’t appear the least bit concerned, a picture of a performer at ease in his role.  However, the reality is that it will be an uphill battle if The Jay Leno Show is really going to compete in Primetime.   

The Jay Leno Show opened with Leno’s obligatory monologue.  Most of us have seen his monologues enough and, and are barraged by the same media storm as Jay and his writers.  It isn’t hard to predict what his routine is going to consist of — yeah, know that really popular story you’ve all been hearing about, this is why it’s funny.  It’s the late night talk show host’s shtick, and their fans would be livid if they abandoned it. Much of the show was drawn right from the Tonight Show.  Jay’s goofy clips that America loves, a music act, and a couple of guests were all there. The Dan Band carwash clip was hysterical, and if you don’t agree, then I just don’t know who you are anymore.  While most of the reviews of the show have been critical of this resemblance and have overlooked that which I had never seen before.  Jay asked a hard question.  I mean a damn-near-made-a-grown-man-cry hard question.  Jay also gave a young man a chance to display humility.  Something Kanye desperately needed in order to move on with his life.  

Most importantly Jay Leno added the one thing that might compete if he’s going to play in the Drama Dominated 10 o’clock time slot.  America loves Drama, that’s why clips of what Kanye West did are being splashed all over the news, Internet, and radio waves.  Americans love comedy, but their junkies for witnessing Drama unfold before their eyes.  This is Drama’s time.  You Know What?  Jay was good at it, which gives him a fighting chance.  

When the Greeks and Romans spoke of Tragedies and Comedies, the only discerning trait between the two was the ending.  The Greeks and the Romans had a great passion for hedonism and entertainment.  Their documentation of their imaginations as well as their history and philosophy, created the inspiration for many contemporary stories.  The reason their plots and themes have been reused throughout history is that they understood every great story has comedy and tragedy.  The Jay Leno Show Watch is on 51-weeks to go.

News Update

While the Nation gears up for his primetime return, the Face of Late Night Television is “hopefully optimistic.”  Jay admitted to Reporters “I don’t know what TV is anymore.” While the fans of comedy celebrate the move to primetime, the success of Jay’s new show is less than certain.